15.5.2017

Sometimes when I lay in bed before I go to sleep I contemplate my life and today I thought about you.

It's a privilege to be loved by another person and I feel like I still can't fathom why someone of you're caliber would love me.
But maybe this is how I know for sure,  that I've caught up with the person who I wanted to be and worked so hard towards becoming. So much so that a person like you would love me.

It's been 2 years and 9 months since you asked me to be your girlfriend. That's 2 years and 6 months longer than I ever thought we'd last. I don't know what made you look at that broken girl who only insulted herself and give her a chance,  but I'm so lucky that you did. Maybe it was just on a whim or maybe you saw something in me that no one including myself saw,  but that's a far too romantic and impractical thought to think. Maybe it was a whim and my good luck,  and I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world.
When I think of the girl who had her emotions as confused as her personality I feel ashamed, but I know she was a fighter, and you brought out the best in her.
Maybe you'll stay forever, and I don't mind if you do, but maybe someday you'll go, which I hope and pray you never do. But in all this uncertainty there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that I won't be ashamed of who I am anymore. So a big thank you to hopefully the love of my life, here's to silently and secretly hoping for a forever with you.
While everyone admired the white horses you picked the dark one in the corner with the unseen twinkle in her eye.

1.1.2015

I felt bad because I felt like I didn't fit in.  New years was supposed to be fun and the best day of the year but I just sat and watched people have fun and play video games that I couldn't enjoy.

I didn't want to be a downer so I sat quietly and ended up drinking a bit too much in order to make myself have as much fun as everyone else. Which was pretty stupid.

I spilt my drink and you got angry and yelled at me for being sloppy and being a drunk nuisance so I hid in the cupboard and cried because I was drunk and unhappy and felt so out of place and then to top it all you were angry with me and I sat helplessly not knowing how to fix things.

You found me in the cupboard, drenched in my own tears and yelled at me even more for not being able to control my alcohol and making a fool of myself.

I was angry and frustrated and I didn't know how to convey this to you in my state so I lashed out and scratched you hoping you'd stop talking and that you'd stop saying those words that made me sink into my feeling of despair.

I just wanted to be with you and I wanted you to hug me and notice I didn't fit in because I didn't know how to say it to you because I was such a mess and I wasn't the person I am now. I wanted to have an amazing night and my first ever kiss at 12 o'clock. I was so excited for that night.

You punched a wall in the bathroom and I actively avoided you the whole night.

Until you came up to me drunk and sobbing and pulled me aside and hugged me.

1.1.2015

I felt bad because I felt like I didn't fit in.  New years was supposed to be fun and the best day of the year but I just sat and watched people have fun and play video games that I couldn't enjoy.

I didn't want to be a downer so I sat quietly and ended up drinking a bit too much in order to make myself have as much fun as everyone else. Which was pretty stupid.

I spilt my drink and you got angry and yelled at me for being sloppy and being a drunk nuisance so I hid in the cupboard and cried because I was drunk and unhappy and felt so out of place and then to top it all you were angry with me and I sat helplessly not knowing how to fix things.

You found me in the cupboard, drenched in my own tears and yelled at me even more for not being able to control my alcohol and making a fool of myself.

I was angry and frustrated and I didn't know how to convey this to you in my state so I lashed out and scratched you hoping you'd stop talking and that you'd stop saying those words that made me sink into my feeling of despair.

I just wanted to be with you and I wanted you to hug me and notice I didn't fit in because I didn't know how to say it to you because I was such a mess and I wasn't the person I am now. I wanted to have an amazing night and my first ever kiss at 12 o'clock. I was so excited for that night.

You punched a wall in the bathroom and I actively avoided you the whole night.

Until you came up to me drunk and sobbing and pulled me aside and hugged me.

Rant

Ever since you walked in,  my life fell into place. I became the person I wanted to be.

And I will be forever thankful.

My teacher got hit by a bus. Over and over again. In my head.

I have no knowledge in terms of becoming a teacher. I don't know how to teach a class. I've never even tried helping my younger siblings with their math homework. But I know how to differentiate between a good human being and a bad one.

We all have had that one teacher who we have imagined getting hit by trucks or eaten alive by a tiger or getting pushed onto railway tracks. But that's just it. We imagine yelling at them , telling them what we think of them, telling them they suck at their profession, but all we can do is imagine.
The hierach goes like this - principal > teacher > student. Isn't that strange ? We pay the institution , the institution is focused and centered on us but we're at the bottom of the pyramid. We can't speak up when something goes wrong, so I'm writing this hoping and praying that a teacher like that read this.

Dear Sir/Ma'am,
                            You are a terrible humanbeing and I hope you get Alzheimers soon and choke on your own spit.
You have been given an immense amount of power by our education system and you are abusing it. Ridculing and embaressing your students makes you a shitty person and an even worse teacher.
Your immaturity level is astounding and lower than my grades (just so you have a vague idea)
Denying everything you did to my mother will not change the past.

You're ugly and I'd rather stare at an old mans hairy asshole covered in shit.

Yours Unfaithfully,
Student.

Nani (incomplete post)

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the wind push the haldi powder out of my fingertips and onto her nose, and that's when reality kicked in..
It wouldn't matter , if the haldi powder fell onto her nose..she was dead..
I then put the kumkum onto my finger and I aimed to put it directly onto all the powder that was already there so I wouldn't have to make contact with her skin, untill my finger slipped.
But it didn't feel weird , it felt like touching another person but it was so hard to comprehend that the body wasn't the person.
I think I need to come to peace with the fact that I will never be at peace with the thought of her not existing.

6 Reasons Why It's Okay to Fart in Public.

1.’You have a fart that can cure cancer.’

Need a new pickup line? Instead of using the classic ‘You have a smile that can cure cancer,’ replace smile with fart because that way you won’t even be lying.

A new study suggests that smelling farts (hydrogen sulphide) could prevent mitochondria damage which in-turn prevents diseases and even cancer. So next time, be a good citizen and let it rip!

2. It tests relationships at a young age.

If your boyfriend/ girlfriend breaks up with you after you either fart, burp or vomit around them, then you know the relationship was never worth it. If they can’t handle your basic bodily functions they definitely won’t be there for you to sniff their farts when you get cancer.

3. You can set a fart on fire.

Farts contain flammable gases like methane and hydrogen and hence can be set on fire. As fun as it sounds, I do not recommend people to try it at home but there are plenty of videos online and if you’re a professional performer why not put up a show and set a couple of them on fire to amuse a crowd.

4. It sets off the giggle alarm.

Personally I’ve giggled every time someone farted in public so don’t look at it as a public embarrassment but as a good deed you just did for society, so spread the happiness!

5. Measure of comfort

It shows people how comfortable you are around them and can often be flattering to your partner.

6. Stop the unnecessary stress

Farting in public is viewed as a faux pas and often more for women than for men. If you want to promote feminism let those around you fart and fart yourself. There are bigger problems you’ll have to face in life and memories of farts fade eventually.