Sunday 14 May 2017

15.5.2017

Sometimes when I lay in bed before I go to sleep I contemplate my life and today I thought about you.

It's a privilege to be loved by another person and I feel like I still can't fathom why someone of you're caliber would love me.
But maybe this is how I know for sure,  that I've caught up with the person who I wanted to be and worked so hard towards becoming. So much so that a person like you would love me.

It's been 2 years and 9 months since you asked me to be your girlfriend. That's 2 years and 6 months longer than I ever thought we'd last. I don't know what made you look at that broken girl who only insulted herself and give her a chance,  but I'm so lucky that you did. Maybe it was just on a whim or maybe you saw something in me that no one including myself saw,  but that's a far too romantic and impractical thought to think. Maybe it was a whim and my good luck,  and I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world.
When I think of the girl who had her emotions as confused as her personality I feel ashamed, but I know she was a fighter, and you brought out the best in her.
Maybe you'll stay forever, and I don't mind if you do, but maybe someday you'll go, which I hope and pray you never do. But in all this uncertainty there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that I won't be ashamed of who I am anymore. So a big thank you to hopefully the love of my life, here's to silently and secretly hoping for a forever with you.
While everyone admired the white horses you picked the dark one in the corner with the unseen twinkle in her eye.